I am wrong

I am wrong.

I am not a nice guy.

All my life I played the role of a role model brilliantly. This is what my parents think. I think they are wrong.

They think I set an example for everyone in the family. I think they are wrong. They think I don’t lie. I think they are wrong. They think I am brave. I think they are wrong. They think I am strong and I don’t cry. I think they are wrong. But it’s not completely their fault. Everyone has illusions.

Everyone wants to be a role model. Everyone wants to set examples. Everyone wants to be truthful.

Personally, I don’t believe in right or wrong, truth or lie, good or bad. I think the situations are far bigger than these notions.

Still I believe I am wrong. I have hurt people. I have cheated myself. I have bent my beliefs. I have made people who love me, cry. I have lied. I have tried to be someone I wanted to be. I am weak. I cry. I lose.

I always want people to believe that I am a nice guy. Loving, caring, emotional, helpful… I am not. I am a simple human being. As complex as anyone.

I want people to believe that I am socially responsible, that I help people without any expectation or a selfish motive… that I love unconditionally… that I am clean… that I am actually right.

But I am wrong.