Sleep-awake

For the past 20 days I have been ‘sleep-awake’.

I am sleeping but I am not asleep. It doesn’t make sense but it’s true. I can see things that happened to me, things that never happened to me, things that don’t bother me, happening right in front of me, when I am ‘asleep’.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if it’s wrong. All I know is that it is happening to me. For the past 20-25 nights I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours each night. During the day also I don’t feel drowsy or lazy. It feels as if I am on adrenalin. But why?

I don’t know. Things keep coming to my mind. All the wrong things I did for the right people. All the right things I did for the wrong people. I don’t think about my past. I never see things from my past when I am ‘sleep-awake’.

Why do I feel like this? Why am I ‘sleep-awake’?

I want to sleep. Like a baby.