What am I made up of?
Some atoms, molecules, nuclei… ??? What?
If, as a human being, I am just a balanced chemical combination of these chemical elements then why am I different from any other similar human being?
Why doesn’t everyone think like me? Why can’t I be simple… or complex? Why can’t I understand everybody? Why can’t everyone understand me?
The doctors/scientists seem to have reasoned everything… every emotion, every feeling… every molecule. Then why does the same molecule react differently in everyone? Why do different people feel differently?
There should be a law of universal emotion. The law of universal emotion should define, justify and apply to every living being. LOUE.
In case you thought that I am going to state that law, right away in this new paragraph, then sadly you are wrong.
In case you are still interested… KEEP WAITING. The LOUE shall soon arrive.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
A simple life
Last night’s hangover ran faster than the blood in her veins.
The dizziness made her think clearly… at least as of now. She remembered each and every thing that happened. She knew the clarity in her thought was directly proportional to the disparity she felt. She could see herself smiling.
With more than half a dozen books left midway, countless emotions wasted down the drain, some powerless strings attached to a couple of ‘no strings attached’ relationships, innumerable expressions waiting to be expressed, millions of feelings waiting to be felt and a relationship yet to be named, she had lived. She had lived life like no one else.
The sunlight began to feel her body up. Starting lazily with her toes, moving seductively towards the back of her knee, it decided to settle down and take some well deserved rest on her smooth back. The warmth was slowly seeping in, relaxing the pace at which the hangover moved.
When her mind drifted from the sunlight, she realized she was still smiling. So many men in her life had made her feel special. But last night was something else. It was a momentary feeling that would stay with her for a lifetime.
She wanted to wake up next to him…feeling his fingers carelessly sleeping on her naked body… his eyes, closed, but close to hers. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body making love to her warmth, his breath seducing hers.
She knew she was alone… on the bed. But, she had a feeling the door would soon open and he would walk in, smiling and blushing like a teenager. She knew he would stay… all her life… for a lifetime.
She had a simple life.
Cribbed for a better doll as a kid, smiled at the chocolate offers… cried for her father’s attention, craved for her first boyfriend’s jealousy…. Complained about the lack of time and money to her fiancé, cared about his perennially wet clothes in the rains… bothered about her bothered maid, loathed the excellent makeover of a colleague… fought for the relationship and then the marriage etc…
The routine was very normal too. Self-made bed tea followed by self-made breakfast. She always wanted a normal life, with no hassles and challenges. She had it now.
A series of incomplete relationships lined with complete emotions, formed the main gist of her life. But, she had lived.
She heard footsteps. She waited for them to become louder and closer… then waited for the door knob to turn and the door to open. She knew, the door would open and he will come towards her. She knew she would be swept away by his smile. She knew that even his thought made her blush.
Slowly, the expectation changed into curiosity. Slowly, she opened her eyes and stared at the door knob. The moment lasted an eternity. But the wait, lasted even longer.
The door knob did not move. But, she had lived.
A simple life.
The dizziness made her think clearly… at least as of now. She remembered each and every thing that happened. She knew the clarity in her thought was directly proportional to the disparity she felt. She could see herself smiling.
With more than half a dozen books left midway, countless emotions wasted down the drain, some powerless strings attached to a couple of ‘no strings attached’ relationships, innumerable expressions waiting to be expressed, millions of feelings waiting to be felt and a relationship yet to be named, she had lived. She had lived life like no one else.
The sunlight began to feel her body up. Starting lazily with her toes, moving seductively towards the back of her knee, it decided to settle down and take some well deserved rest on her smooth back. The warmth was slowly seeping in, relaxing the pace at which the hangover moved.
When her mind drifted from the sunlight, she realized she was still smiling. So many men in her life had made her feel special. But last night was something else. It was a momentary feeling that would stay with her for a lifetime.
She wanted to wake up next to him…feeling his fingers carelessly sleeping on her naked body… his eyes, closed, but close to hers. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body making love to her warmth, his breath seducing hers.
She knew she was alone… on the bed. But, she had a feeling the door would soon open and he would walk in, smiling and blushing like a teenager. She knew he would stay… all her life… for a lifetime.
She had a simple life.
Cribbed for a better doll as a kid, smiled at the chocolate offers… cried for her father’s attention, craved for her first boyfriend’s jealousy…. Complained about the lack of time and money to her fiancé, cared about his perennially wet clothes in the rains… bothered about her bothered maid, loathed the excellent makeover of a colleague… fought for the relationship and then the marriage etc…
The routine was very normal too. Self-made bed tea followed by self-made breakfast. She always wanted a normal life, with no hassles and challenges. She had it now.
A series of incomplete relationships lined with complete emotions, formed the main gist of her life. But, she had lived.
She heard footsteps. She waited for them to become louder and closer… then waited for the door knob to turn and the door to open. She knew, the door would open and he will come towards her. She knew she would be swept away by his smile. She knew that even his thought made her blush.
Slowly, the expectation changed into curiosity. Slowly, she opened her eyes and stared at the door knob. The moment lasted an eternity. But the wait, lasted even longer.
The door knob did not move. But, she had lived.
A simple life.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Wrong
She knew what she was doing. Enslaving time. Enslaving emotions.
She knew it was wrong… but for a change that gave her the strength.
For ages we have been told not to do the wrong thing. But one day, suddenly, when you have to pick and choose between right and wrong, you pick wrong. Why? Because, you want to see what’s wrong with the ‘wrong’… because, you are tired of doing the ‘right’… because, you want to be wrong.
When you confess that you did the wrong thing, your acceptance is reciprocated with sympathy first, anger and destruction threats later. In relationships people do things which, according to the ethics of the world, are wrong. The wrongness of the thing gives them the strength to do it.
The moment she saw him, her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t want to explain anything to him, she didn’t want accept anything, she didn’t want to accept her fault. They had been together for over 3 years. She wanted to go. She was being consumed with guilt. She didn’t want to face that either.
She knew what she was doing was wrong. He shouted, cried, pleaded, threatened, cribbed, lied… slowly the realization dawned on him.
He let her go. Simply. Mildly. He knew it was wrong. She knew it was wrong. She knew she wanted to go. He knew, she won’t.
Because, he knew, it was wrong for her to let go of him. He knew she wanted to do the wrong thing. Because, she wanted to see what’s wrong with the ‘wrong’… because, she was tired of doing the ‘right’… because, she wanted to be wrong.
This time wrong was right.
She knew it was wrong… but for a change that gave her the strength.
For ages we have been told not to do the wrong thing. But one day, suddenly, when you have to pick and choose between right and wrong, you pick wrong. Why? Because, you want to see what’s wrong with the ‘wrong’… because, you are tired of doing the ‘right’… because, you want to be wrong.
When you confess that you did the wrong thing, your acceptance is reciprocated with sympathy first, anger and destruction threats later. In relationships people do things which, according to the ethics of the world, are wrong. The wrongness of the thing gives them the strength to do it.
The moment she saw him, her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t want to explain anything to him, she didn’t want accept anything, she didn’t want to accept her fault. They had been together for over 3 years. She wanted to go. She was being consumed with guilt. She didn’t want to face that either.
She knew what she was doing was wrong. He shouted, cried, pleaded, threatened, cribbed, lied… slowly the realization dawned on him.
He let her go. Simply. Mildly. He knew it was wrong. She knew it was wrong. She knew she wanted to go. He knew, she won’t.
Because, he knew, it was wrong for her to let go of him. He knew she wanted to do the wrong thing. Because, she wanted to see what’s wrong with the ‘wrong’… because, she was tired of doing the ‘right’… because, she wanted to be wrong.
This time wrong was right.
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